When I have children, I’m not going to buy a TV. Instead, I’ll buy a large Rubbermaid storage container like this one:
I’ll take off the top and tilt it so its mouth faces outwards. I’ll then draw crude images on a roll of butcher paper and paste my homemade abomination onto the mouth of the “television”. In due time, because one of my children (being playful and rambunctious) will undoubtedly punch a hole through the “television screen”, I”ll have grounds to make them feel terrible about themselves for at least a couple of years.
Dad, why don’t we have a television like everyone else?
Because you broke it!
They’ll be working off their debts for the rest of their adolescence while I nod contentedly. This was the key to free slave labor—how did no one else think of this?
